From love bombing to worthlessness, I was put through a whirlwind of highs and lows. The body was elated with bursts of dopamine that the abuser gave in the beginning to distress and elevated cortisol levels towards the end. As these two extremes of the cycle meet again, my time was up. The abuser did not hide his new love interest. He spoke to another man's wife for 5 hours over the phone with me in the next room after she abruptly quit her job. Then, the grooming of the replacement began. But, his attempts to win her over with his performance failed once her husband caught wind.  

What is the purpose of it all

None of this is pretty. It's an example of one of the darkest places I have known. Lies, manipulation, questioning my sanity, taunting, insults, or fear were just some of the emotional and psychological tactics used to assert control for his personal gain. It is the dark side of humanity, but not the darkest. My life no longer belonged to me.  I was a possession, and when my worth to him lost its luster, a replacement needed to be locked in place.

At that time, I thought I had met my replacement. The intended replacement had been to my home. That particular replacement was replaced after her husband was informed of their improprieties. 

Let me be clear: none of this is the act of a woman scorned. I am very blessed to get out when I did. I am one of the lucky ones. As I have said before, this is a woman on a mission to expose, within reasonable reach, the lies and evil tactics of a cruel man. I am in pursuit of the truth. There is no way on earth that I will stand back in fear, anymore. This man needs to be exposed as the monster he is. 

Since the writing of this site, the divorce has been finalized. I have moved on and even left the state in the pursuit of happiness. As for the abuser, he is on to his next victim and starting the cycle all over. These days, I am happy and have used this all as a self-reflection and healing time. I have been blessed to meet a wonderful man who understands the hell I went through during the marriage to my abuser. He has been a motivation to heal and seek happiness; although, I am happy and have moved on with my life, I do not intend on turning a blind eye to the cruelty and wrongdoing . I am standing up. I have hope to be heard.

My current husband is aware that I have chosen to document what I went through. He has chosen to support me and recognizes my choice to tell my truth. Although it is difficult for him to hear about what took place, he has been my rock and has supported me. 

Joshua 1:9